Always losing
There is a song by Tenth Avenue North called "Losing." I heard it this week for the first time in a while. It struck me hard, and it thrust God's words of forgiveness into my hard heart. "This is love, or this is hate. We all have a choice to make." We all have a choice to make…
All too often, I have a hard time looking at forgiveness as a choice. Is it really that simple? When someone does not respond to me the way they should, why should I forgive them? After all, they did not apologize. The Lord's prayer comes to mind: "…and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."[1] Then Christ's words come to mind: "For if you forgive people their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive people, neither will your Father forgive your sins."[2] This is where the frustration comes about for me; what about you? I know the Word, but it does not seem to extinguish the fire within my heart. What am I missing?
If I were looking at a ship in need of some repair, inspecting its seaworthiness, or lack thereof, I would first check to see that its propellers were working…okay, all good, check; next, I would look to see the surface of the exterior, confirming there are no holes in its skin…okay, all good, check. As far as I can tell, from the exterior, the ship looks seaworthy, but I am told it is not by its captain. At this point, I can do nothing but take a look at the inside of the ship, for the exterior is fine. It is like this for us: the captain, Jesus, tells us there is a problem; as good Christians, we begin to inspect ourselves but not too closely for fear of finding the issue. We find that our exterior, that is what we are reminding ourselves of, and our general way of life all look in order – our surface seems seaworthy. But the captain informs us again that we are not seaworthy. We have no choice but to look inside, to closely examine our hearts. If not done at all or not done correctly, we will not find the issue, and we will allow the bondage of lack of forgiveness to tighten around our hearts.
To examine our hearts with our fleshly minds is easy. We will likely pass with flying marks, for we set the bar, and that bar can be set oh so low. When we examine ourselves by God's yardstick, though, we will always be found failing. So, what gives? Is there a middle ground for examination? Yes, there is. We can thoroughly examine ourselves with God's eyes and come out seaworthy. Here are the steps…
1) Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. If you are a Christian, insert a check mark here. 1 John 5:11-12.
2) Grow in the Word of God by studying the Bible. If you study your Bible, insert a check mark here. Matthew 13:23.
3) Pray for God to expose your sins to you, ask for forgiveness, and to help you overcome them. Psalm 139:23.
Because you have accepted Jesus, you are adopted into his family, which means that you pass the seaworthy test not because you have attained it but because you have obtained it through Jesus Christ's death. "But as many as received him—to those who believe in his name—he gave to them authority to become children of God."[3] This does not mean that you have received a free pass. Instead, it means you are more able to examine yourself and to conform your life more and more to the likeness of Jesus. "Shall we continue in sin, in order that grace may increase? May it never be! How can we who died to sin still live in it?"[4]
When you cannot forgive someone, come quickly to the conclusion that it is an internal problem because it is, it always is. As the song by Tenth Avenue North goes…
"I can't believe what she said
I can't believe what he did
Oh, don't they know it's wrong
Don't they know it's wrong
Well maybe there's something I missed
But how could they treat me like this
It's wearing out my heart
The way they disregard
This is love or this is hate...
We all have a choice to make
Oh, Father wont You forgive them
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losin'"
You, me, whoever is not forgiving is the only one losing. God uses the Holy Spirit to prick our hearts of this fact. This is why you know that you need to forgive someone even though you do not want to. The quicker you forgive them, the quicker you are released from the bondage that unforgiveness causes.
[1] W. Hall Harris III et al., eds., The Lexham English Bible (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2012), Mt 6:12.
[2] W. Hall Harris III et al., eds., The Lexham English Bible (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2012), Mt 6:14–15.
[3] W. Hall Harris III et al., eds., The Lexham English Bible (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2012), Jn 1:12.
[4] W. Hall Harris III et al., eds., The Lexham English Bible (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2012), Ro 6:1–2.